Snotting, Squatting, and other Running Delights

My runner friends and I have made a sort of pact.  I think it's kind of a given, considering, but it's nice to get it out in the open.  The pact goes like this:  On the run, anything goes.  Need to blow your nose?  Farmer blow it!  Or, snot rocket if you prefer.  Gas?  Yeah, it happens when running for hours on end.  Let it out.  Have to make a pit stop?  Sure, I'll keep an eye out for you, pick a tree (or bush, or patch of dirt.) There has been a lot of discussion among my runner friends lately about potty stops.  And I'm not talking about wizzing in the woods.  I'm talking runner's runs.  It happens.  I'm very fortunate to have never had to poop in the woods, however, I'm sure my day will come. I'm also lucky to have never puked on the run, but I hear plenty of stories about others who have. But I certainly blow my nose about every five minutes and anyone who has gone on a long run with me knows how drinking on the run makes me burp.  We talk about these matters so often, as a matter of fact, that Katherine and I have made up names for snotting (and sqautting) in different situations.  It goes like this:

Nose Blowing:
The Party Streamer= Blowing snot in the wind.  Imagine party streamers blowing along side your face in the wind, only grosser and way more slimy.
The Glove= Snotting on ones own hand.  "Damn it!  I snotted all over my glove again!"
The Facial= Snotting on ones face.  "Crap!  Now it's all down my chin!  Eww!"  You always wondered why trail runners wear bandannas, didn't you?
Synchronized Snotting= While blowing your nose you look up to see your running buddy doing the exact same thing.  "Hey!  We should make this a sport!"
The Icicle= It's 5º out.  Snot becomes icicle.  Don't try to blow that!

When nature calls:
P.L.A.M.  That's right, baby, Pee Like A Man (AKA when a girl stands to pee).  Because who wants to drop trou and squat!?

I'm sure that Katherine and I will come up with more ridiculous names for things as we continue to run together.  You can't spend labor intensive soul seeking hours on end with a person without getting a little silly.   Also, we have a lot of time to think about whatever comes to mind and often what comes to mind is the immediate.  What's going on on our run today? Plus, when else is it socially acceptable to snot rocket, burp, fart and pee in public?

Here's a little gem from Runner's World on How To Farmer Blow.  Enjoy!